Thursday, September 29, 2011

Awesomely Bad Music Videos

Anyone can make a music video, but it takes a special type of counter talent to produce an awful one. Here are a few music videos that are so awesomely bad they deserve to be celebrated, studied, and uncontrollably laughed at.

Dog Police- "Dog Police"

Once upon a time there was a MTV show in the 80's called Basement Tapes. The show gave exposure to unsigned bands by showing videos that the band submitted. This is one of those glorious videos.

My favorite part is 1:25-1:43.

Santo Cilauro (Zladko!)- Elektronik Supersonik

This was supposed to be bad, so you have to give props to the Australian tv actor Santo Cilauro for his execution. "I put my butt plug in your socket" is up there with the greatest line of all time.

Insane Clown Posse- "Miracles"

This is actually the video that inspired this blog post. Insane Clown Posse's 2010 video of the year candidate has so many amazing one liners and visuals that I watched it over 50 times when it first dropped. Shaggy 2 Dope's (skinny one) random use of the F-word when explaining life's many miracles gets me everytime:

"The sun and the moon and even mars//the milky way and FUCKING SHOOTING STARS".
"FUCKING RAINBOWS after it rains//enough miracles here to blow your brain".

My other favorite parts include 1:10-1:14. An excellent side story about a fish and pelican at Frisco Bay and of course the line of all lines:

Water, fire, air, and dirt-- FUCKING MAGNETS, HOW DO THEY WORK?!

A very thought provoking moment.

Jan Terri- "Losing You"

Jan Terri was a limo driver that would hand over her music videos to clients in hopes of being discovered. Her recordings and videos were so awful, they became cult hits within the community and made there way around to advertisers, marketers, and other big wigs. Eventually, it landed in the hands of Marilyn Manson who was so intrigued He had Terri perform at one of his parties and was impressed enough with her sincerity to allow her to open for one of his concerts.

David Hasslehoff- "Hooked on a Feeling"

In my opinion, if you made a music video like this in your career, you're allowed to eat a cheeseburger off the floor. It’s equal parts offensive (the scene with the African villagers), cheap (the horrific green screen effects) and awesome (the whole thing).

Crispin Glover- "Clowny Clown Clown"

Helllooo....McFly....MCFLYYYYY...this is fucking disturbing. Crispin Hellion Glover (born April 20, 1964) is primarily known as a film actor, but is also a painter, filmmaker, author, musician, and collector and archivist of esoterica. Glover is known for portraying eccentric people on screen, such as George McFly in Back to the Future, Layne in River's Edge, the "Creepy Thin Man" in the big screen adaptation of Charlie's Angels and Willard Stiles in Willard. In the early 2000s, Glover started his own production company, Volcanic Eruptions.

Sonseed- "Jesus is My Friend"

Um. Words cannot even explain what happens at 1:42 and on. I thought there was no way the lead singer could top his ridiculous mouth movements and stage presence UNTIL he dropped:

"Once I tried to run, once I tried to hide
but Jesus came and found me and touched me down inside
he is like a Mountie, always gets his man
and he'll zap you anyway he can...

This is why I love music. Do you have any to add on?
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